I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

My life, my subsistence, my family is collapsing around me and I'm too fatigued to continue balancing on the shifting rubble. If I'm constantly treated so disposably why does it still stun me to be unvalued and unloved? And more over, how can I serve in Mexico when I can barely keep from being a casualty to my own life?



"En Gallop"

This place is damp and ghostly
I am already gone.
And the halls were lined with the disembodied
and dustly wings, which fell from flesh
gasplessly.

And I go where the trees go,
and I walk from a higher education
(for now, for hire)

And it beats me, but I do not know.

Palaces and stormclouds
the rough, straggly sage, and the smoke
and the way it will all come together
(in quietness, in time)

And you laws of property
you free economy
you unending afterthoughts,
you could've told me before -

Never get so attached to a poem
you forget truth that lacks lyricism;
never draw so close to the heat
that you forget that you must eat.



 

I'm really very unsure of what guys expect from me... but obviously I'm not living up to their expectations. All of it is obsurd. So how about this, I'll keep doing the best that I can with my own life and if you want anything but friendship... you can give up.

On an optomistic note, I'm so happy that it's a beautifully gorgeous day and warm enough to roll the windows down in the car and all that I have to do is school and work and not deal with anyone.